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Independent Health Concern Caring for the Community in Wyre Forest

An alternative viewpoint

Comments about what’s going on in political life … … Please note that views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of Health Concern or of it’s Councillors or members - but enjoy them - or ignore them (!) It’s your choice.

Local

Wyre Forest and West Midlands

We’re recently been ‘hectored’ to become ‘Vegan’ (and thereby ‘Save the Planet’ .. and we presume this means the planet ‘Earth’ .. ‘cos there are a whole lot of planets, only some of which might need ‘saving’). This is excellent culinary advice and comes … from the Roux family. (You really do need to have read the letter in The Shuttle.) ______________________ We’re very relieved that Cllr. Totty won’t be missing his ‘beauty-sleep’ (as reported in The Shuttle) over his objections to the proposed waste facility on the old Somer’s Forge site and also that the objections of other Cllrs. were able to be voiced. Should anyone be concerned about the 3” bruises covering the body of the Council’s objections, they were most likely caused by the barge-pole wielded by Cllr. Hart as he deftly punted it down the cut and out onto the Shropshire Union, with the deadly accuracy of Mark Selby at The Crucible. ______________________ How very, very ungallant .. for, after “having been dumped” (as The Shuttle so inelegantly puts it .. hardly the ‘proper’ thing to say about a lady ?) when it should have said she was ‘squeezed-out’ (and what girl doesn’t like a good squeeze ?) that ‘old war-horse’ of Wyre Forest politics (whoops .. there, I’ve gone and done it myself !) is threatening us all with the dystopian revelation of a Schwarzenargian return to regain “her” shire council seat of some 20 years (and isn’t it nice to be able say that you’ve got a ‘county seat’ ?). So, to quote that over-blown politician (the one from California) … “I’ll be barckh !” ______________________ So Rachel Maclean finds it unacceptable for people in Redditch having to travel to Kidderminster (to access the ‘Garden Suite’ Chemotherapy Dept.) but quite acceptable for Wyre Forest folk to have to ‘leg it’ over to her neck-of-the-woods for the very same treatment ? And now that the ‘temporary’ re-location looks like it could be made permanent, she begins bleating about the ‘power of a petition’ restoring the poor little orphaned suite back to its proper family home. Ahh ! Perhaps we might say - with the conviction of, say, Ms Sturgeon ? - that ‘temporary’ means ‘temporary’ .. just as ‘once in a life-time’ means just as long as we think it ought to last ? And now we find that ‘our’ MP is in agreement with our views - always good to know your MP’s on the side of the majority - after all, that’s what put him there in the first place.

National

Throughout the UK

So as the all-loving, all-embracing graduate students of the Middle Common Room of Magdalen College, Oxford, vote to remove a portrait of Her Majesty as she approaches her Platinum Anniversary, we show them equal courtesy and happily include this lovely photograph of idyllic Magdalen College. _______________ Just where did ‘Dom’ learn his hand gesturing ? Perhaps there’s a racetrack near Barnards Castle with a spare-time appointment as a Bookie’s “tic-tac man” ? Mind you, he’ll need the job ‘cause, other than being a professional “bridge burner” there’s little chance of him seeing the inside of ‘No. 10’ again. Then again, can you imagine his CV ? Dom: “Oh, I was quite happy to work for someone whom I knew to be a complete incompetent!” HR: Speaks well of his opinion of his future employer. Dom: “I was pleased to work alongside someone who I’m happy to describe as “making criminal decisions”, and who “should have been fired 15 or 20 times !” HR: Obviously going to get along well with his line-manager. Dom: “I have complete 20/20 hindsight !” HR: We really ought to have this sort of person in our organisation. Dom: “I have complete faith in the democratic electorial system.” HR: This man’s a bigger liar than I am!” [Obviously, some of this ? / all of this ? .. is complete fantasy .. or is it ?] ______________ And now we hear that Boris’s £840-a-roll wallpaper is peeling off! What a Carrie On ! ______________ When ‘logging-on’ to receive Covid ‘Lateral Tests’ and receiving your NHS reference I.D. you are offered the opportunity to read various ‘terms and conditions’, naturally enough. What might put you off is the fact that their document .. ‘Guidance: Testing for coronavirus: privacy information – Quick Read’ contains some 5,617 words. A staggering five and a half thousand words in what they consider a ‘quick read’ ! It took William Shakespeare just a mere 14,701 words to write the entire play “A Comedy of Errors”. Which one contains the biggest error ? And which one’s just a joke ? _____________ Its difficult keeping track of who’s in or out of court these days - 30+ former Postmasters were in court, having been in court, incorrectly as it turns out, Some 700 are queuing-up behind them (what else do you do in a Post Office ?), Dame Paula Vennells isn’t in court (yet), other than the court-of-public-opinion, a “famous footballer” is in court, and might well ought to be there, but would we miss him if he were ? Dereck Chauvin’s had his day in court .. and may have many more days as well, Arlene Foster’s in court accusing our-own ‘Dr. Pimple-Popper” of slander, She’s also possibly “up” before her own MPs guilty of a loss-of-confidence, ‘Bumbling Boris’ is due to re-enact his “bumblement” in Parliament about something to do with wall-paper, or scatter cushions, of something, Three ex-Paras are accused of the murder of a murderer (even though there’s “no compelling evidence” come to light), … … … It’s all very confusing. I do wish our ‘elders and betters’ behaved better. ______________________ In a bout billed as Beauty vs ‘Bovva’, Paymaster General Ms Mordaunt took on Angela Rayner, Labour's new Shadow Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster at the Dispatch Box in a contest as keenly anticipated as Tyson Fury vs Anthony Joshua. Ms Rayner, clad with ‘shoulder defenders’ not seen since Joan Collins left ‘Die-nasty’, had donned her ‘bovva-boots’ to table an urgent question on Ministerial Interests, looking to stir up trouble over sleaze allegations. With her ‘foghorn-in-a-pea-souper voice’ she was soon sounding off about ministers thinking rules were ‘for other people’ (and, by ’eck, she were loud), raising the issue of the PM’s holiday to Mustique (or the ‘Sleazyjet trip’ as she put it). She then waded into Home Secretary Priti Patel and Health Secretary Matt Hancock for awarding lucrative PPE contracts to cronies (surely not ?). Then, chosing her moment and rising to her elegant feet, brushing her elegant skirt, and arranging her elegant locks over her (elegant) shoulders, ‘La Mordaunt’ proceeded to skewer her opponent in the manner of Marseille’s finest kebabists. With perfect hair and pristine vowels, she pointed out that the central charge of ministers were ‘on the take’ was based ‘not on fact but on speculation, innuendo and smear’ - hence why the public paid little interest. Then came her Detective Columbo moment. ‘Oh, just one more thing…’ Penny had looked at the register of interests and totted up the donations Hancock and Patel had received since last March. ‘If you were to double them – no, Mr Speaker, if you were to quadruple them – you would still just about match what the Honourable Lady herself has received in the same time period,’ she announced. Then, with a flick of that immaculate mane, she neatly sat back down, carefully placing one leg over the other. “Eight, Nine, Ten .. OUT!”

International

Throughout the rest of the world

Meghan Markle's children's book is consigned to half-price bargain sale on day it is released as critics slam it as 'semi-literate vanity project' … starting with the dedication “.. to the man and the boy who make my heart go pump- pump" (!! .. “pump-pump” ?) featuring illustrations of a bearded ginger father cradling a smiling baby on a bench under a tree (OK, nothing wrong with that) written as an extended poem and series of imperatives, branded "grammar-defying" as well as "badly rhyming" it concludes with the ‘schmaltzy’ (but then, the Americans just lurve schmaltz) "Right there on your bench, the place you'll call home... With daddy and son... Where you'll never be 'lone." Despite significant publicity, it is not an immediate hit, ranked 200 in the Amazon books best seller list and 60 in the children's books best list. ___________________ Americans now fear the seventeen-year cicada crisis, trillions of which will soon crawl out of the ground from the Mississippi to the Atlantic, from Georgia to New England, their incessant skritching filling the air for weeks, as they breed and the males drop dead and the females lay eggs to hatch into larvae to tunnel down into the ground to spend seventeen years and then resurrect. So, with the 2005 crisis not even a memory for some, people will stay indoors (if they have air-con) to get away from the skritching, the piles of wings and carapaces and dead males on the lawn. Just one more mystery to ask God about when we reach the hereafter. ___________________ As a Prime Minister, isn’t it good to know that you’ve got the strength of your armed forces behind you, so ‘cheer up’ Boris. Unless, of course, you’re a President. In which case you might either be .. President Joe Biden .. who’s had a group of more than 120 retired military officers write him an open letter to tell him his election was less than legitimate - while questioning his mental acuity. The group calls itself 'Flag Officers 4 America' and consists of retired military officers including generals and admirals or President Macron .. who’s been written an open letter penned by Jean-Pierre Fabre-Bernadac, a former French Army officer, and signed by some 120 former senior staffers and 1,000 lower ranked military personnel suggesting the possible need for a military coup because “France is in danger and several mortal perils threaten her.” Interesting that of the 70 Emperors to rule Rome between 14 and 395 AD, more died of assassination (23) than of natural causes (20), and that’s not even including those who were possibly assassinated (8), executed (3) or forced to commit suicide (5). ______________ You can always trust an Aussie to have a “good time’’ … So the commissioning of ‘HMAS Supply’ in Syndey Harbour was bound to descend into a ‘Bar-bie’ and the “splittin’ of a few ‘tins” .. but not quite what the No.1 Uniformed (White .. Tropical) dignitaries were expecting when the “101 ‘Doll Squadron’ dance troupe” burst into their pelvic-thrusting and bottom-twerking routines in front of the Chief of the Australian Defence Forces and assembled ranks drawn up to attention (I’ll bet). Andrew Hastie, the assistant defence minister, said that “the military’s main objective would always be “the application of lethal violence” to defend the country’s interests. We should never forget that,” .. and “our ‘cobber’ Andie” served in the SAS for five years and fought in Afghanistan .. so he’d know. _______________ A national Daily (who might/should have known better) carried the story … “Courtney Stodden has claimed ‘Chrissy Teigen would privately DM me on Twitter’ ..” I’m sorry but .. .. Courtney Stodden .. ? Chrissy Teigen .. ? “DM’d” .. ? Yes, ‘Twitter’ we have heard about .. it’s full of twits .. or tweets .. or whatever. Anyway, as great an authority as Donald John Trump - 45th President of the United States of America - has told us … “It’s all Fake News !” _______________ Another newspaper headline (yes, apparently they’re still publishing these things) and this time from across ‘the pond’ reads .. “I.P.A. Signing Bonuses and Free Subs: Luring Labor as a Beach Economy Booms” re-enforcing that old adage that we’re “two countries separated by a common language.” Apart from references to drink (I.P.A. should obviously refer to ‘India Pale Ale’ - that strong bottled beer which was shipped from Burton to ‘the Raj’ to fortify ‘the lads’ - and that ‘subs’ are the players that come on the field in the closing minutes of the game of soccer (‘footie’) as the manager watches his career disappear before the Directors’ eyes .. you’d never guess that it is a story about an expected surge in vacations (‘holidays’) at Rehoboth Beach, Del. (Del = Delaware, a small ‘Mid-Atlantic’ U.S. state which sits on a peninsula marked by dune-backed beaches bordering the Atlantic Ocean) where they’re paying “signing bonuses” ( ? ) at gas stations (‘Petrol stations’) for youngsters to ‘pump gas’ (provide personal service for those too lazy or too fat to get out of their cars) as they look forward to cash-laden holiday-makers arriving for summer (when apparently it gets hot and dry, in America). Gosh .. what a giddy life they lead.

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